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We have been forced to be disconnected from our bodies, we have been so force to just withstand all of the pressures of life and as a result we have to bypass and ignore the information that is being communicated to us through us. We disassociate, suppress, and repress our emotions which often lead to a numbness, addictions, anger, violence, or depression because the energy has to go somewhere. It has to be released.. It has to move through you. We need space and time to grapple and access what is happening in our bodies but our bodies are accustomed to moving so urgently and emotions are waves of energy and chemicals that move and release FAST>>>> Our emotional drives have so much control over us and we act on impulse then wonder how we got " HERE." Here can be an argument, an altercation, a screaming match, silenced, and emotional spiral. We have to take responsibility for ourselves because no body owes us anything even if their actions or lack of actions where apart of the activation process...

Feeling a little more complete, compiled a laundry list of critiques and contrast them with affirmative statements, more like declarations, set the load on rinse and repeat, was feeling downy, so instead of drowning, decided to let the tides wash away the stains, offer up a praise and a  wave, a good bye, hung these conditioned tendencies outside, I’d rather they sun dry, shadow side tried to object and objectify the exit of my character defects but I sustained, can’t over rule, a calm mood, a relaxed body is a powerful tool, fueled by access to self, get centered, chose implants instead of fill ins, affirming God’s infinite wisdom until it becomes a permanent fixtures that fit right in, the external praise don’t hit like it used to, have you ever had a hand clap, hit you, smack dab in the middle of yo abandonment issues, ever applied an applause to a void, externally activating self worth, words, no longer confirm but affirms what God already communicated, lately, I’ve been feeling firm, grounded, planted, rooted, Universe rooting for me and my routine, been more about me, consecrating with spirit within, we sorting through the confusion shining an LED on all the optical illusions, illuminating delusions, we been loosening and losing, the old schemas, that turned me into a believer, concreted and cemented several reason why I was inferior, now we like in fear of what, I became a rock climber, the present is  the perfect timing to release burdens and boulders, my shoulders are less tense and my faith is more dense, not on the fence, not straddling, not adding or building cases, not on the defense, or defenseless my mechanics and mechanisms for protection turned into weapons, formed a congregation, became artillery, pinned my location somewhere between rigidity and fragility, lately I’ve been peeling more, getting to the core of my dis-ease, it was more mental than physical, but the body hold the memories, formed in the mind, you think it and over time it becomes you, if you overthinking it becomes true, a fermented figure, can’t remember the innocence and in a sense, the sensations over power you,  in every situation you become prey to the experiences, as if you are witnessing them happening, outta body, you jump out of your body when the slurs land, feels like someone laid hands, but not to send prayers, not to active the GOD’s  within, not to soothe, you are overwhelmed yet subdued, you don’t want yo make a move but you do, automatic impulses, default, surprised that find that your standing on the fault lines, but it’s not your fault, when the earthquakes , and your world shakes, this is what is at stake, when you feel unsafe, when heart throbbing, inner child quietly sobbing, you revert to most comfortable option become carnivores, and when it’s time  to feast, you eat anything or anyone  in sight, wrong or right, you gotta to curb the appetite….